im 17 and young. i frown most of the time. im not any famous girl to bitch about.

I'm left with less than 24 hours, i guess.
Nothing can be changed.
I really could feel the connection between me & the teacher.
I'll be fcuking speechless if I'm retaining.
My name is already on the list.
Yes, my name is in the list.
But haven't confirmed.

Total of 9 NA students retained.
15 express students gg down to sec 4 NA next year.
Damn it, there will be NO 4 caring class.
And I don't know if i had the choice to retain or go 4 tech.

Truly, deep in my heart, I'm really sorry mum that I've been rude to you for the past few days, for this whole year. I know I've changed, a lot. I'm sorry I've disappointed you in many ways. I've never had the courage to speak up to you my thoughts and feelings. I tried to control myself and understand you more, but I just couldn't. I made a promise to myself to improve on my studies after knowing my results for mid year, but now, I've failed. I couldn't give the best for my End of year too. I've added stress to your life. And yes, I still remember the first day of Hari Raya, you told me that I'm useless. I've got no ability. Well I guess every mum words are true. Yet, it's true enough. I'm sorry once again..

Not to forget, Amira & Siddiq. My dearest bestfriend and brother. To Amira, I know you upset because of me. I'm sorry if I'm leaving you for the years onwards. I'm sorry to say that maybe this year would be the last year I'm having the closest things to do with you. To Siddiq, you've taken very good care of me and I really appreciate it. You gave me the care and concern, the love and the understanding. I know you tried to help me in my studies but I failed to give you good marks. I couldn't stop crying in class not just because of family, but because of both of you. I couldn't bear leaving my closest dearest person in my life..

Labels: a fish that is left on the land.